Okay, so I wrote this journal entry on the plane back to Winnipeg after I had a good talk with Jess. It is "stream of consciousness" style. I have never written anything like this before so it might be terrible, although I really don't care. It is what I thought and felt at the time. Also, Carolyne and Robert, thank you for everything you did for us. You two truly amaze me! I don't know how you do it. Thanks to all the businesses and people who made this trip possible for everyone. Also, a big thanks to the people at the Alaska Zoo. They made this experience possible for me. It was a life-changing experience. And thank you to everyone in our group on tundra. You guys are some of the most incredible people I have met. So anyway, here are my thoughts and memories...

What can I say? Nothing like this has happened or will ever happen to me again.
A week feels like a month, a day like a minute
How can time do this to me?
It plays mind games with me, letting every minute rush by and the experiences stay fresh in my mind…

Walking through Churchill freezing my butt off while birds flap their way south.
A polar bear alert followed by an adrenaline rush and a quickening of footsteps.
The awkward beginning and the even more awkward goodbye (a different sort of awkward of course).
The boys are more emotional than the girls for goodbyes.
Our first polar bear hundreds of feet away and excitement on our breath.
Our eighth, ninth, and tenth polar bear a couple yards away accompanied by the slightly interested glances of the “Tundra Buggers.”
The Arctic Swan, the Arctic caribou, and the Arctic rat.
A white polar bear licking an even whiter polar bear.
The dirtiest polar bear Robert and Carolyne have ever seen.
Slow blinking eyes that seem to penetrate every secret in your mind and calm every nervous twitch in your body.
Sitting at the dining table talking to Carolyne, not knowing what was ahead.
Sitting in the airplane back to Winnipeg, happy that I had no expectations to start with.
The golden, purple, emerald, streaming, dancing northern lights that filled the eye and struck the mind.
Sitting at breakfast, lunch, and dinner learning from each and every person.
The differences that could have separated us and the common desire that united us.
Why does it have to end?
Why can’t we stay together, isolated from the rest of civilization?
I would have a wonderful time.
But we know it has to end.
We know what we are capable of now.
Before I had little hope in men
Politics destroyed my belief in them.
The people I met have inspired me as never before.
I don’t want this inspiration to leave me
Seeping away like water in a poorly stopped drain, slowly trickling down the pipes
Back to where it came from…
Dr. B Mud Toidi
Dr. Yrev Tnegillenti,
Dr. Mi Trams
Paper swan napkins that give me a headache thinking about them.
A failed hide-and-seek game and grasshopper charades.
Never have I laughed or cried like this.
Never have I met such a caring and incredible group of people.
Never have I met such an unlikely group of friends.
Singing to Robert at five-thirty in the morning…oh, revenge is sweet.
Under the Bridge
Otherside
God Michael, shut up with your singing.
Now it will be stuck in my head all day long
I wake up to “How long, how long will I slide”
I go to sleep to “Slit my throat, it’s all I ever had”
You think that would be depressing but it only makes me laugh.
Singing on the Tundra Buggy
Singing in the Tundra Lodge.
Never have I sang out loud so much.
My voice sounds terrible, I am shouting, but who cares?

Ronit, who always takes the lead.
Becky who told me to number her if I couldn’t remember her name.
Kaitlin who is always looking to hug someone.
Emily is quiet but will get talking if you pay attention.
Astrid always has something positive to say (even at times when I just want to be a pessimist).
Beth, my awesome roommate from Winnipeg.
Cassidy, my other loner state girl with the awesome handmade Andy Warhol shirt.
Katie, Miss Manitoba- you should have seen her in drag, she was awesome.
Cesar, who can tell an awesome lion story when you least expect it.
Omar and his fasting…it always makes him fall asleep, no matter where he is.
Connor, I can’t tell whether if he feels obligated to sit at the computer for hours or whether he enjoys it- a little of both I think.
Stephen, the kid from Churchill and his amazing ability to call polar bears. How does he do it?
Sean and his guitar and his soft side for babies, polar bears, and all those other things men like to appear impartial to.
Michael and his ability to make people laugh- usually at him.
Jess and the thoughtful and truly genuine person she is. “She’ll be ‘right.” Where do Australians come up with these sayings?
Badass Bill
Carolyne who reminds me of my grandmother with her upbeat attitude and continually smiling face.
Robert, his sparkling blue eyes, his hard-core capitalism.
Charlotte with her singing. She slept on the seats in the lounge on the Tundra Buggy sometimes.
Lisa-Joy and her worrying. Her baby boy is adorable.
Stacy, a very cool semi-American, semi-Australian.
Kathy and her loud assertiveness… it grows on you.
Frank the Tank and “Hello down there… shut the f*** up!”
The film crew-always there and usually right where you want to be.
Sean, Michael, and Omar and their spooning
My first helicopter ride.
The tide coming in, going out.
Always constant although according to Michael it only comes in when it rains.
My first snow of the year.
Clapping for everything for nothing
Getting over my jealousies, insecurities, and all those other trivial things.
The only song I know how to play on the guitar is “House of the Rising Sun.”
I want to learn to play guitar someday- that would be sweet.
Inspiring change through passion and awareness- that is our vision
Isn’t it interesting that passion came first?
No, it just sounds better that way.
Blog, the ugliest word I know.
Photography…I wanted to take as many pictures as possible at first but I later realized I was only experiencing things through a box
Life isn’t supposed to be contained in a box
No animal is meant for a box- especially not humans or polar bears
Should we box up these polar bears?
Should nature be allowed to do its job instead?
It will in the end anyway.
I hope we all end up together again someday.
Would it be the same in two, five, ten years?
I kind of hope so, but that is a foolish thought.
People grow apart and change.
Change is the only constant.
People should be changing.
The one thing I enjoyed the most about this trip is that it is the first time in a long time I have stopped living in the future.
I am living in the present.
I like it much better, I find I am more easily satiated.
The future is like a piece of bread on a string being dragged before a starving man, slipping out of reach every time he greedily lunges for it.
I caught and ate the bread on the tundra.
I am the once starving man who is now satisfied and happy.
I don’t want to starve again.
It isn’t fun.
I am inspired by the people around me here.
They care and that was a sight I was quite beginning to miss.
They all care and it inspires me.
I want to change my actions and show people they can change theirs.

I flew in a helicopter today! We flew out to a maternal polar bear den today thanks to Hudson Bay Helicopters (they donated the flight to our group). It was my first time in a helicopter and the trip was amazing. Cesar, Becky, Ronit, and Jess flew over the tundra with a pilot named Sage. We saw three caribou winding their way through the various puddles and lakes. Their had been a snow storm a couple days before and the first thing we did when we got off the helicopters was have a snowball fight. The maternal den was quite a sight. The polar bear had dug its way through dirt and roots to form a den that I couldn’t see the end of.
Once we got back, our group had a little session to think about what has happened this past week and what we will do in the future. I have to say, I have never been in such a passionate and intelligent group of people as I am now. I could say a lot more about our group and our experiences but I think it is best to just leave it be and look to the future and what we are going to do. It is incredible to think this week has gone by. I have no sense of time out here; I don’t know what day it is or what the time is. I love it! I have little desire to go back to school, although I know it is inevitable. I am eager to go back and tell people about my experiences and hopefully inspire change.

Elementary school kids are awesome. Out of all the levels, they are the coolest. No one from high school would ever ask, “Do polar bear cubs live with their mommies or daddies?” No middle school student would ask, “How many huskies would equal the weight of a polar bear.” Where their creativity comes from I have no idea.
We had a video conference today with a group of fourth graders from Selkirk, Manitoba. We students set ourselves up in front of a webcam (or whatever it was) and connected with them via microphones and video cameras. Each kid from their class came over to the video, introduced themselves, and asked their wonderful questions. It was such a great experience.

I just walked into the lounge after having watched beautiful emerald green northern lights dancing across the sky. They streaked across the sky in every direction. Behind the northern lights were the stars, shining brightly without city lights to dull them. It was an incredible sight.

Our day started with an adventure out in the Tundra Buggy. We chilled on the tundra and watched polar bears trying to avoid the weak sunlight that has finally broken through the clouds. Today was my group’s turn for cooking (different groups rotate through chores) and for dinner we asked everyone to dress A.F.A.P. (as formal as possible) seeing as how most everyone’s suitcases consist of jeans, wool socks, and jackets. Jess and I made swan napkins and we dubbed our restaurant, “The Arctic Swan.” It was a pretty sweet dinner, if I do say so myself. We were in between dinner and dessert when Robert told us about the northern lights. The whole situation seemed surreal and I can’t help sitting here amazed about all the things I experienced in only one day.

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamt that I woke up in the middle of the night to see a volcano erupting outside our Tundra Lodge. The sight was terrifying, with the lava spewing out onto the tundra and all. All of us in the Tundra Lodge had to load onto a Tundra Buggy, shut the windows, and escape into Hudson Bay while the lava chased our path. I was so depressed that I had to leave because I had been waiting to see the polar bears for a year (while in reality I have only known I was going for a few months). I was ecstatic to wake up and find that no volcano had erupted, seeing as how there aren’t any mountains for miles.
After such a distressing night, my day was quite the opposite. I woke up to find a polar bear hanging out a couple hundred yards from the lodge. He has remained there all day and I am looking at him as I type. All of us students were put into groups and given chapters from “Impacts of a Warming Arctic” to present. Our group (Jess, Sean, Michael, and me) did a rockin’ presentation, if I do say so myself and all the other groups did as well. Near the end a presentations, Robert interjected, “There is a bear outside,” and there it was, right outside our lodge. Everyone rushed out onto the platforms outside. The bear came over to where we were standing, stood up, and leaned against the lodge. He was only about two feet away…ahhh! It was insane! His fur was partially gray because he had been rolling in the dirt. Jess and I dubbed him Pepper (how original, right?). I just noticed him sitting outside right now and he is rolling about on the ground playing with Styrofoam. We have no idea where it came from; the Tundra Lodge is almost like a space station and we are extremely careful about not littering. The bear is such a majestic and proud looking animal that it is a little saddening to see him chewing on a piece of trash.

A message from the tundra:

Hello! This is Annie and Michael and we are live from the tundra with the polar bears. Let’s interview them now!

Polar Bear: Good evening associates.

Annie: Today when we saw you after a 1 hour trip in the gigantic tundra buggy, which we boarded after a night at the Tundra Lodge, and some brekky at Gypsy’s, what was your initial reaction?

Polar Bear: I was quite shocked. To see a giant machine with wheels, out here, on the tundra? I was like, no way bearfriend.

Michael: Our breakfast was great, thanks for asking.

Polar Bear: I didn’t ask.

Michael: I know.

Annie: What is it like out here on the tundra?

Polar Bear: It’s very cold, well not for me, but maybe for you. It’s extremely flat, there’s some water around but it’s also very rocky and bumpy. And you can see to the edge of the earth!

Michael: What do you think of the people?

Polar Bear: They are scary, especially when they set up the bear traps that you saw today at the Polar Bear jail. But these are in place to keep the wild teenage bears out of the main city of Churchill. It’s also scary when they set up a Polar Bear testing laboratory and conduct experiments on us, such as drowning us in oil. My great grandfathers friends sisters pets dogs brothers cats mothers owners daughter (in other words, my son) was actually killed in one of these experiments.

Michael: That’s sad, dude.

Annie: Well don’t you think the killing of your son to preserve the whole species is more important than your loss?

Polar Bear: Perhaps, however you already discussed issues surrounding this question today in the bus. How about you tell me about the Tundra Buggy?

Michael: No, let’s talk about snow.

Polar Bear: But I don’t rea…
Michael: *interrupts* Well tonight it snowed! It was so exciting because I have never seen it snow before! It fell from the sky like ptarmigan feathers.

Annie: Yeah it was sweet, man! Bloody oath!

Michael: You are turning Australian.

Annie: I’ll be Australian when Bob’s your uncle.

Polar Bear: Okay.

There is no lack of water up here in Northern Manitoba. Flying up from Winnipeg to Churchill over the rusty orange and highlighter yellow tundra, I was surprised by the all the water- lakes, ponds, and puddles- that didn’t seem to leave more than a couple hundred yards of land between it. The tundra looked like a wet sponge, waiting to have the water squeezed out of it. Living in Alaska, it seems like I ought to have seen tundra before, but this was my first experience.
The sun was shining in Churchill today, something I am told I probably won’t see again. The sun’s warm rays were hardly a comfort against the biting wind, but standing outside and seeing the beautiful landscape is worth a little windburn. After settling in at the welcoming Tundra Inn, our group decided to take a tour around the town. Churchill is surrounded on two sides by a river and the Hudson Bay. We went down to the beach bordering the Hudson Bay and after awhile a man from the Bear Patrol of Churchill (a group that alerts the town of polar bears roaming around near the town) drove up and told us that there was a polar bear heading our direction. Later that night we were told that they darted a polar bear in the exact spot that we had been roaming around on the beach. Everyone keeps saying, “That is crazy!” and it is. Even though I live in a place where black bears and moose walk through my back yard, I cannot imagine living in a town where I constantly have to watch out for a huge animal that could tear me to bits.

I shuffled off the airplane yesterday, feeling exhausted. I was also quite aware of the fact that I had been traveling for thirteen hours. After picking up my baggage, I was met by both Carolyn and Robert Buchanan who greeted me with a warm greeting and smiles. They were great to see after being surrounded by angry airport people. Flying over Winnipeg was like nothing I have ever seen before. From the airplane, the whole area was flat as far as the eye could see. The land was divided into what appeared to be multi-colored, symmetrical squares that are apparently farmland. The whole scene was surprising, seeing as how mountainous Alaska is not ripe with land for farming.
After the Buchanan’s met me, we walked over to the hotel next to the airport and they checked me in. Everyone here is friendly and helpful. The hotel we are staying in, the Sheraton Four Points Hotel, donated all the rooms that we are staying in. Many other businesses have donated rooms, transportation, and various other needs to our cause. I find it amazing that many of these business are interested enough in what we are doing to help us.
Today we went to the Winnipeg Zoo. We talked about whether animals should be kept in captivity, which is an issue I have yet to resolve for myself. I don’t quite know what to think and I enjoyed hearing opposing opinions about the question. The conversation helped me answer the question a little better.